As persuasive as Titus Andromedon’s brilliant Trident gum audition in the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is, teeth are not “outside bones” that “live outside (and) hang from your lips like bats”.

Most certainly, both bones and teeth contain calcium phosphate, which contributes to their hardness.

And that is about where the similarity ends.

Bones have two distinct cell layers: the outer fibrous, and the inner layer where osteoblasts, the cells that develop bone, are found. Bone mass is maintained by the balance of osteoblast activity that forms bone, and osteoclasts that remove bone. All bones, even the tiny auditory ossicles, have a centre of either red or yellow marrow – gelatinous tissue enriched with blood vessels and capillaries. Red bone marrow contains blood stem cells that can become either red blood cells, white blood cells, or platelets. Yellow bone marrow primarily serves as a storehouse for fats, and inside the hollow interior of the middle portion of the long bones of the human body (of which there are about ten) is pink marrow.

Red bone marrow, along with the liver and spleen also contributes to the destruction of old red blood cells. Yellow bone marrow serves primarily as a storehouse for fats but can convert to red marrow in cases of severe blood loss or fever in order to increase blood cell production.

From birth until age seven, because of the high need for new blood formation all human bone marrow is red. After that, fat tissue gradually replaces red marrow, which in adults is found in the vertebrae, hips, breastbone, ribs, skull and the ends of the long bones of the arm and leg. Other spongy bones are filled with yellow marrow.

People need bone marrow to live; among its many functions is a system that engineers skeletal growth, maintenance and healing.

Two periosteum; three types of marrow, and making more than 500 billion new blood cells every day.

That’s the bones of bones.

Teeth, however, have none of that: no periostuem or marrow to help them repair and regrow; no place to store fats.

A tooth is made of four types of tissue: pulp, dentin, enamel, and cementum. The pulp is the innermost portion where connective tissue, nerves, and blood vessels nourish the tooth.

Teeth are 98% inorganic calcium and phosphate ions that form a high strength hydroxyapatite crystal that allows enamel to endure masticatory forces.

So not like bones – and fascinating all the same.

What bones and teeth do have in common is the need for calcium to maintain structural integrity. A very important mineral for muscle movement, hormone release, blood circulation and neuron function, calcium is not made by the body, and comes from green leafy vegetables, seafood, legumes and dairy products.
The other commonality between bones and teeth is the risk of loss: osteoporosis sufferers tend to have fewer teeth than those with normal bone density.

So on the one hand they’re different; and on the other, teeth and bones go hand-in-hand in gauging overall health.

Make no bones about it.

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