“LOVEBYT Peppermint Botanical No Alcohol Mouthwash – 470ml. The newest member of your oral beauty routine and presented in a sustainable glass bottle.

A natural alcohol free mouthwash sensation combining a high-end blend of natural botanical ingredients and no chemical nasties, for superior oral hygiene.

Our mouthwash boasts a long lasting zesty, powerful minty flavour that will leave your mouth tingling – for all the right reasons.

The secret’s in the recipe, including premium, natural Australian ingredients which help reduce oral inflammation, boost immune support, relieve dry mouth, prevent plaque-causing bacteria & bad breath – without compromising your mouth’s natural pH or saliva production.”

Lovebyt boasts that it’s “Vegan & Cruelty Free”. I thought making fun of vegans went out when lamb went up. One review reads, “Easy to use bottle, clear and stylish label and compounded with care and respect for Earth.” Seems oxymoronic. And a bit moronic if a bottle is declared easy to use. That stylish label may have commanded less care and respect for Earth than you’ve ever considered. The jury’s out on whether twenty-five Aussie bux is cruelty free.

What is luxury? And with that, what exactly is luxury oral care?

For some it’s having your own toothbrush, clean water and paste.

Oral disease is a major health burden for many developing countries because of its affect on an entire lifetime. Life without many of the basics is challenging enough without the pain, discomfort, disfigurement and malnourishment that comes from the inability to eat or speak properly.

Like being undernourished isn’t enough.

Cavities are the globally most common condition – suffered by more than 2.3 billion people. Some have already been one of the more than 530 million children with caries in their milk teeth.

From Afghanistan and Bangladesh to Belize and the Marshall Islands, the human stress response to climate change and its impact on living conditions, ‘natural’ disasters and an increase in urbanisation all further compounded by the realities of the pandemic is reflected in the prevalence of oral disease. More than one-in-ten worldwide is affected by severe gum disease with the strong likelihood of tooth loss.

YEE-HAW!! For some, having your own teeth is in the luxury stakes – and something they’ll never eat again.

Luxury is defined as a state of great comfort or elegance that particularly involves great expense.

Each of those elements is relative. The definition of true high-end luxury is unlikely to be cracked by the hoi poloi – Google or no Google. And is luxury luxury when it luxuriates every aspect of your life? Do billionaires suffer hyper-extravagance tension?

So luxury oral care will be considered anything unavailable from a supermarket shelf, a discount bin or a Secret Santa regift.

Leading the lux duck’s guts is sustainable Swiss brand Vvardis. Founded by glamorous dentist sisters Golnar and Haleh Abivardi, the brand is the expansion of the high-end Swiss Smile dental clinic established in 2002. By 2007, clinics had expanded throughout Switzerland, and opened in St. Moritz, Moscow and London. Concerned by the extreme sensitivity patients sometimes suffered from the abrasive whitening products and treatments available that also only temporarily removed stains and discolouration, the Abivardis decided to create solutions. Ones that could be used on sensitive teeth, composite crowns, fillings and children.

With belief in science and technology, and equally in the efficacy of natural medicine, Vvardis interacts the best of both disciplines in each product.

A groundbreaking formula was developed and patented an anti-inflammatory and senolytic dental care product with tooth whitening characteristics. It is a hi-tech biomemetic hydrogel that not only removes stains and whitens. WX Formula also prevents further discolouration, protects against cavities and boosts natural enamel protection.

$250 is how much money you’ll be puttin’ where your mouth is for Vvardis Aletsch brightening serum. They say the results speak for themselves. For those not wanting to be lax on the lux Vvardis Edelweiss toothpaste and Weissbad mouthwash ($55 and $45 respectively) are fusions of handpicked Alpenrose flower (an absorbent antibacterial), high-antioxidant Edelweiss extract, and fluoride. The luxury of Vvardis it seems is the balance of natural medicine and science, pooled with innovative healing techniques, and sustainable premium quality.

Luxury oral care extends of course to electric toothbrushes and water piks. The mouth marketing mantra is that if it looks good on your bathroom it will forever change the way you care for your teeth and gums.

An ergonomic, aesthetically pleasing sonic toothbrush that delivers 40,000 vibrations per minute might be one of those things.

Considering the average electric brush manages between 12,000 and 24,000 the claim it leaves teeth ultra-clean and polished must be an understatement. Maybe part of the luxury is that it’ll take the barnacles off your yacht.

With three modes and a time interval programme, it cleans, whitens and massages for the same price as the Vvardis serum. So a dozen lazy pineapples will get you a swanky brush, pearler polish for your pearly whites, a tube of toothpaste and an ‘easy use’ bottle of mouthwash.

Or, you can buy yourself a Philips or Oral-B brand premium model. Designed to last several years, (aren’t they all?) it has show-off shelfie design, and a vegan leather charging case. I don’t know what vegan leather is, but it could be made of tofu.

Sometimes described as the ‘Ferrari of toothbrushes’ whether you prefer oscillating, spinning heads, or rapid side-to-side sonic vibrations but both use rapid movement to shake off plaque and scrub away stains. Sensors register pressure, motion, and coverage up to 100 times per second to automatically adapts in real time with intensity adjustments. These are brushes that use intelligent technology to sync brushing data and give personalised cleaning guidance.

Yet the most favoured waterpik is the Waterpik Aquarius. It has 10 pressure control settings, LED display for floss or massage modes, changeable paced timing, and 7 tips with 360-degree rotation.

All for eighty bux.

Each is luxury you don’t want in your lap – you want it front and centre in the bathroom, always a visual cue for the sense of extravagance and indulgence you experience every time you use it.

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